Its like you’re constantly swimming to keep your head up. Some days the water is calm and you have the energy to keep swimming. But some days there’s a storm and the waves are so big you don’t know if you can keep from going under.
You know you can’t swim forever, and you know you’ll eventually sink to the bottom. But each day you keep swimming because you don’t want anyone to worry about you. You don’t want to worry your family or friends and you’ve been swimming for so long it’s second nature.
Sometimes you can talk about stuff with friends and they’ll understand. Those are like drift wood, helps a little but they take on too much water and can hardly float for themselves after a while.
You try not to think about all the things that would happen when you go and how your loved ones would suffer. Those thoughts make you swim harder, those thoughts are the sharks that circle you.
Then finally, you know that if you keep swimming long enough you will eventually reach shore and you won’t have to swim anymore. Those are the goals and hopes that I use to remind myself that good times are possible and that my life will get better.