Sometimes, we can’t see something simply because our mind won’t let us. We block out warning signs, we ignore bad behavior and we continue actions that harm us. Sometimes this goes on for a short time, and hopefully we catch on in time. But sometimes this goes on for months or even worse, years or longer.
We ignore the red flags sometimes because we’re afraid that they are telling the truth. It’s hard, and often painful to accept the truth, and most of the time we don’t want to face it. So we ignore the red flags because we don’t want to face the truth of the situation. If we did face the truth, it would mean that we would have to change everything that was once so close to us. We would have to face the fact that our lovers and partners moved on, and now we are left to find a new path. And that’s hard, it’s hard as fuck. So it’s easier to ignore these signs and tell yourself a lie.
While we continue to convince ourselves of this lie, we begin to delude ourselves even further by doubting our intuition. We tell ourselves that we’re just being jealous, that we’re being paranoid and insecure. Our partners would never do that to us right? We ignore gut feelings, the signs of disconnection, inappropriate conversations or online posts, and foggy details. We begin to assume that we are “crazy” and once they explain their side of the story we feel guilty for those feelings. Blocking your own intuition is never a good sign, and if you find yourself repressing your own intuition please be careful because this is dangerous territory.
This one is the hardest I find. We ignore the warning signs because we are taught that relationships and marriages are hard work. We are taught that you have to fight to make things work, and that eventually things get smoother along the way. You hear stories about grandparents that were married for over 50 years and how they maintained their relationship with hard work and determination. Although I can agree that if something is important to you, you should fight for it, (Fight like hell actually). But sadly sometimes it’s just not worth developing unhealthy attachments or causing more damage to your self worth and mental health.
As much as it hurts, after a while it’s not a matter of what you didn’t see or chose to ignore. It becomes a matter of what you allowed to happen in the first place. We have to ask ourselves if we are brave enough to see these red flags and if we are willing to speak out. Lastly you have to ask yourself if you are ready to repair the situations or begin the process of healing.
Just thinking out loud here guys. Still trying to face my own problems at the moment. I hope this helps someone out there. Have a good night, cheers.