The past year has been a lot. I faced some of my worst fears and I’m thankful that I’m still here. I know that I can speak for the majority of us when I say that 2020 was a horrible year. But even with everything that happened over the past year, the past few months have been the hardest. I fear that harder times may be ahead of me, but I’m keeping faith in the process and I’m still hopeful for the best.

Things were meant to be different around this time. We had a plan, and things looked like they were on track. There were warning signs, but I had no real clue how bad things had gotten. When you throw in COVID, family and relationship issues, on top of Dad and BF duties plus teleworking it could be overwhelming. I was so burned out towards the end I was just drinking and playing video games. It’s been hard to be normal let alone happy and creative during this time, and I’ll admit that I’ve been really hard on myself about it. I still wanted to work on all my passions, it was just getting harder and harder to do the work. I still loved my family, I was just unable to show them how much. I had let my stress and anxiety take over and my occasional vices became daily habits. I let the fun die. But to make the situation worse, I didn’t know that this had been going on longer than the past year. In fact, I was so blind to everything that I didn’t notice that I had been like this even before COVID, and even before 2020.

“I was mad that I caused the majority of the problems, simply because I didn’t put in the effort.”

Eventually I was put on notice. I was called out on my bullshit and I got hurt about it. I made things about me, and how upset I was. I was mad that I caused the majority of the problems, simply because I didn’t put in the effort. I made decisions that I regret, and as a result of those decisions I can never go back and the future is uncertain. Instead of stepping up and fixing things, I made things worse. It kills me.

Now the plan has changed. Things are okay on the day to day, but eventually things will change. Eventually I will be forced to face even more of my fears, but this time I have to do it alone. The original plan continues for some, and a new plan is made for others. I’m others.

So I’m writing again. I’m playing guitar and making music again. I’m trying to smile and be happy while embracing the change. I’m doing what I can to stay focused on healing and fixing myself in the hopes of returning to my family a better version of myself. One they truly deserve. I’m putting that effort I should have, and at the same time preparing for the goodbye. Holding on, but knowing I have to let go.

.Inviere

Love yourself…

Hey guys, I want to start today’s edition off by saying, “Love yourself”. Love yourself and care for your own mental, physical and spiritual health! These days it’s easy to get lost in all the negative vibes. It wears us out and it keeps us in a low-energy, depressed mood that not only affects us but the people around us. Now is the time to regroup and focus on truly loving yourself.

We all get down on ourselves, and sometimes we get stuck in a rut. It’s not your fault tho! This culture that we’ve created for ourselves wants us this way! Social media and corporate news is constantly feeding you fear and strife. The entertainment industry bombards us with dreams of lives we may never live, and keeps us chasing dreams that will never really fulfill us. All while the Federal Government keeps dividing it’s citizens and pushing towards totalitarian like control. And here we are, normal people, just wanting to live our lives and provide a good life for our families. It’s easy to see why we’re stressed and our bodies and relationships are falling apart!

“Make sure to do the things that once made you happy and that once motivated you!”

So I say please take the time to help yourself get rid of all these toxic vibes! Clean your house, clean our your phone contacts, TAKE TIME OFF! Make sure to do the things that once made you happy and that once motivated you! Hit the gym, read a new book and most importantly pray and spend time with your loved ones.

Forgive yourself…

Look at what events or actions that may have gotten you to this point in time. Some can be good, and some can be bad. You must embrace the good moments and to forgive yourself for the bad. Forgiveness is often thought of as something to help the person (or situation) that has wronged you move on. But it’s actually to help yourself let go of any negative feelings that you may be holding inside that prevents you from moving on.

With this in mind, can you think of anything or anyone that you have not forgiven? Maybe yourself? Have you held on to something bad you may have done in the past? Does this affect you in a significant way? If it does then it’s time to forgive yourself and stop beating yourself up about it! Forgiveness is hard, especially when we have to forgive ourselves. We want to hold on to the guilt so it can remind us that we really are bad people. But this is SO not the case! We want to hold on to this delusion that we are bad people so we can fool ourselves into thinking we deserve to suffer. That we truly don’t deserve to be happy! We need to forgive ourselves for everything that we have done, and reshape our minds to look for the positive even in negative situations. Think of everything action as a lesson to learn.

Once you have made the decision to to forgive yourself, actually do it. Say to yourself that you will no longer dwell on negative thoughts, and you will no longer take pleasure in the negative actions you once did. Tell yourself that you are going to do a complete 180 turn from your previous ways and that you will no longer damage yourself! But not only that, be easy on yourself. You’re starting out on this amazing new journey and you may stumble along the way. So remember to forgive yourself for that as well, you’re only human!

Heal yourself…

Finally, once you have decided that you need to love yourself more, and that you can forgive yourself for whatever has gotten you to this place, you need to heal yourself. Healing can be a difficult process, but it is something that we need to do if we want to be at peace. It can come in many different forms as well. Healing can be as simple as hot shower at the end of the day, or going to bed an extra half hour early to feel more rested. Or it can be as complex as starting a new diet and exercise schedule, seeking professional and spiritual help, or even physical therapy or surgery for things we may have neglected. Whatever path you may choose, let it be a path that leads you to repair any trauma or toxic tendencies you may be holing on to.

“Now is the time to learn from the past, and create a better version of yourself.”

One last thought, be honest with yourself. Be honest with the person you want to become and be honest about the things you like and what you don’t like. Now is the time to learn from the past, and create a better version of yourself. So be honest with yourself about who you want to be, and don’t be afraid to change. Lastly, take action! Make sure to truly begin this process. Don’t halfheartedly start this process and expect to fail later on. Have faith and do the work.

I hope this helps someone out there. Things are tough nowadays, and we need to be as strong as ever. Until next time, make sure to follow the blog and leave a like on this post. Cheers!

.Inviere

Hey everyone. As always I hope you are doing well, and that your New Year has been good so far! Things have been better over here, but the good thing is that I have music to help get through the rough times. In this edition, I share some tracks that have helped me get through the stressful days and help ad some vibes to the drive home. So relax, take a break and I hope you enjoy the playlist. Until next time, stay safe and I’ll see you next time!

If you dig the playlist, show some love and leave a comment. Leave a like and follow me on twitter for more updates and cool shit…@JosephInviere

“Letdown” – Nothing,Nowhere

“Call Me When You’re Wasted” – Anxiety Attacks!

“fax or nah?? (like fr fr)” – 93FEETOFSMOKE

“Bad For You” – Lil Tracy

“CTRL+CMD.mp4”

Hey everyone! I hope you all are still hanging in there and still staying safe! I have been laying low for the past couple of weeks, but my family and I have been doing well. I’m so happy to be sharing some new content with you all! Let’s get to the post!

As always, I’m trying to listen to new music as much as I can. This helps me find sounds and genres that I like, that I might not have been exposed to otherwise. It helps keep things fresh and new, and plus who doesn’t like new music? So recently I found, Satoshi & Makoto from Japan. I was truly stunned because they use the same Synthesizer I had for years! We were both using the Casio CZ-5000, and their records sound amazing! They use the synthesizer to design all the sounds as well as the built in sequencer to make their tracks. I was totally inspired to do the same!

My 1985 Casio CZ-5000 Synthiziser

So after getting some cables together and cracking open the old owner’s manual I got started making my presets. I was able to run the output of the synth into a DI box I was using for my acoustic guitar, and before you knew it I was up and running. I quickly learned how to make my own sounds from the classic synth, and I began recording samples into Ableton live. From there,I continued making more and more custom presets from these recordings, and I started laying out a simple sequence. That’s how the foundation of “CTRL+CMD.mp4” was made! Everything in this track was made from my Casio CZ-5000!

Custom Sample in Ableton Live 10

Once the track was complete I held off on releasing it for a while until, to be honest, I had worked up enough guts to publish it. It had been some time since I had released any new music on any major platform, and I was a little worried about the cold release. But I eventually got over it, and decided to just share the track! But before I could do anything like that I needed to create some sort of visuals for the track.

In my past I had worked with 3D modeling programs like Maya and Zbrush, but I ended up focusing on graphic design and video editing. But I always had a passion for 3D animation and effects and I wanted to revisit that style for this song. I downloaded the update for Blender and I got started learning the software. It’s wasn’t too long before I was able to follow along some tutorials on the web and I was creating my first animations. Next thing you know I had created a cool retro video loop I could use for the song.

The song is currently out on all major platforms including my Spotify profile and my Youtube Channel. Please make sure to add the song to your playlists and like the video on YouTube! Stay safe and see you all next time!